THE US of A!!

Its been over a week now since I have arrived here. This long journey started on a pretty good note. I think it was my wisest decision to go by Jet Airways. Since it was just their third flight to the US, it was going to be a good flight. Jet is a well known name in the Indian domestic circuit so i was sure of having an aweosme flight. After we landed in Newark, I had no problems with immigration, customs, baggage etc what so ever. And then we were given a pleasant surprise by Shyamal's older brother at the airport. He gave Shyamal his new phone right away (that is helping us a lot right now to keep in touch with friends and family back home). Then Jigar(Shyamal's brother) came up with the idea of going to visit downtown Manhattan. We had almost four hours on our hands, with nothing to do. So we decided, what the heck. Who knows when we might be able to get such a golden chance again. And that turned out to be the highlight of our trip. We got to travel in the metros and the trains connecting New Jersey and New york. When we reached manhattan, the first thing we were greeted by was ground zero and the new world trade centre buildings. It was hard to believe that this was once the site where two, hundred and ten storey buildings used to stand. Then walking around we got a glimpse of the life in Manhattan. Its very much like Mumbai. But I guess not THAT crowded. Various people, from different religions, races, ethnicities were working, talking and walking together. One thing about Manhattan is that it has no small buildings. Believe me, all the buildings must be atleast sixty to seventy stories tall. After a while my neck started to pain, looking up at the tall buildings. We checked out places like Wall street and the NYSE bulding. Its humbling to actually see buildings which i had earlier seen only on television. Another thing which struck me, and which is not particular to NY only is road traffic. I mean firstly it is the left hand drive. Second is the driving sense the poeple have. I mean in India if you are crossing the road u might have to dodge a number of cars or ask the cars to stop by waving ur hand. In India, there is nothing like jay walking. Here if you are crossing the road the cars stop 500 mts away an allow you to cross. I mean I had read and heard about these things but actually seeing it was really strange (lol). And guess what. Jay walking has a fine (again lol). Newayz the whole visit to Manhattan was a rewarding experience. We had a funny experince on our connecting flight, something quite different from the Manhattan experience. Lets keep the mystery alive shall we ;).

Independence.......

Its the second day after my final exams got over. And it feels similar to 15 August 1947. Years and years of oppression finally coming to an end. Well in reality me completeing my engineering is nothign compared to India getting freedom. But now I sure do understand what the feeling might have been that time. Not many people would understand this feeling. All of us are doing something in life and everything is tough and it sure as hell feels like a pain. But for me it wasnt just that. There was a point in my life i had come to believe that I wont be able to do this at all. It was a time I had lost total faith in my self. After that when I decided to continue with engineering, it had become more of a challenge for me. I decided for my self that i had to take up engineering. During my first year I was totally laid back, believeing that if so many people have done engineering, why cant I do it? But I was wrong. The realization dawned upon me a little late to save myself a valuable year. But now that I look back upon it, Iwont say I am glad it happened, but I sure am not sad as well. I made a very good friend in Gopal during the failed year. After I joined college again, I did not realize that I was headed for a memorable three years. I learned that I can complete engineering. Slowly and steadily my graph went up and my confidence which I had lost started coming back again. I made some good friends in my class as well as outside. I learnt what we call 'duniya dari'. I learnt how each professor has to be dealt with according to his or her merit. I realised how important it is to sit through the entire 3 hours of a paper even if u donno shit. I learnt to be a fighter of sorts. The friends I made in my class had a lot to do with this change in attitude. People who are smart to study only what is required and people who know what is to be written in the paper and what is not. Basically what they say, its not I always hard work but smart work as well. These experinces of failure, sucess and triumph I had are going to help me in my life ahead. Now that I look at it, it isnt a feeling of independence from engineering but a feeling of liberation oy my mind and soul.

The Dark Side of Life....

One of my good friends recently pointed it out to me. I don exactly remember how the discussion started, but i just generally asked her whether she had the seen the movie 'COMPANY', made by our own Ram Gopal Varma. And then she asked me why i was askin her that. I told her that this movie was a landmark for me in the sense that this was the movie that provoked me to look at films and film making seriously. On this answer she said that i should also watch positive movies. To be honest i do watch positive films, but its the dark and sinister kind of movies that attract me more. But the question she asked me made me think, why so? Its not that i am one of a kind. I know so many people who share the same view. Most of them belong to my generation itself. But the fact of the matter remains, why? Has something bizarrely gone wrong with this generation? Or is this jus an evolution. I would not like to analyze why others do so, but i jus thought for a while, why am i attracted to the dark side of life? I can say that I had an easy life where I got almost everything I demanded and as some people would like to call me 'spoilt'. Basically I never had to go through any hardships for any thing. So as you know that the grass is greener on the other side, may be a life where its not so easy is something attractive. Another reason could be that i have never been the center of attraction. As a kid i rarely recieved the attention a kid at that age deserves. It wasn't my parents but more so among my peers. Friends, cousins etc. I was also taunted a lot for various reasons. And that affected me quite a lot. May be the dark side was a way to feel positive about my self by realizing that there are worse things in life. May be at an impressionable age it felt glamorous to be that way. Dark mysterious and sinister. Standing at the 'tapri' alone with a cigarette in your hand and looking aimlessly and thinking about something. Many of us have tried emulating what they call today the 'anti-hero' by striking a pose in front of the mirror or reciting dialogues from films. I had seen an experiment on the discovery channel once where they interviewed kids from kinder garden and asked them whether stealing is wrong. All of them had a straight answer, "yes its wrong". the same children were interviewed again when they were older may be 11 or so and their replies to the same question changed drastically. Some wanted to know what was the reason for stealing. Some wanted to know wat was stolen, and say if it was food, then the person stealing should not be punished because he stole since he was hungry.

Well all said and done, i cant really pinpoint why i am attracted to the 'dark side'. Could be any of these reasons mentioned above or may be something else. Well i guess certain things cannot be explained in words.