None of this sir business! Please call me John.

India is battling a spate of rapes in recent times. Well I believe it is not a recent change but the reporting has gone up and the media has become more aggressive in giving these incidents enough limelight. Nonetheless, these incidents probably bring a horrific and gruesome attitude that this country harbours, into the forefront.  While a lot of people will argue that these are vicious acts of violence motivated by lust, as a colleague pointed out, the problem may run deeper. Sexual deprivation may lead to rapes but the gruesome violence associated with it seems to tell a different tale. The repeat incidents, of the same gruesome nature, seem to be proof that this is more than a problem of sexual deprivation. Lot of us have talked about possible solutions and articles have come up discussing this issue. While this issue does need to be tackled on its own, I would like to point out an issue that can probably be associated.

Many Indians, I have spoken to, believe that we are more racist than the West. The sheer looking up to the west, the fascination with the fairer skin easily points to that. Add to that the religious, regional, linguistic, caste and hoards of other discrimination, and we can probably now realize, we don’t suffer from racism but sheer discrimination. The human race as a whole is discriminatory. World history is evidence of that. Even some recent events sparked some racial violence in the developed western world. But these were isolated incidents. This indicates that the general population and administration has come to evolve from those differences and move on as one nation and its people. So it may be safe to say that we do not have a unique problem but yes we need to deal with it.

Having talked about discrimination, we would like to believe that it is more of an interaction problem with people outside your own circle, so to speak. This is what we understand and like to believe. But contrary to this understanding, we many a times, come across this discrimination within our own circle, our own families.  Discrimination against the women in the family is common knowledge in India. But I would like to talk about of a different kind of discrimination.

Across human civilization, we have lived in patriarchal societies. The oldest male in the family is mostly the breadwinner of the family and hence is mostly considered the head of the family.  In many parts of India, within siblings, the oldest male is expected most importance from the younger ones. The tradition is also to refer to fathers, uncles and other older men with a more respectful language. In Hindi for example, these groups of men may be referred to as ‘aap’, which is a more respectful word than the English ‘you’. In some parts of north India, even the oldest uncle in the family may be referred to as ‘tauji’, a special name referred to the oldest uncle in your family. English particularly does not have such distinctions.

Indians, generally, are seen to live in the joint family format - Multiple generations and siblings living together in the same household. Earlier this format was more prominent. Urban India seems to be changing slowly though. And within this format, more often than not, the oldest men end up being the decision makers and automatically command respect.

Within a lot of corporate companies as well, seniors are to be referred to as sir or madam. This is also changing but it is still observed in many corporate firms.

The above comes across as a disturbing trend of hierarchical discrimination.  Age, seniority and experience command respect by default. We always complain about copying the West. Well I would like to opine that we don’t copy the West on its positives but only copy what is convenient. How many of us have tried to understand and emulate this non-discriminatory attitude from the West? We often complain about divide and rule politics played by the politicians of the country. Well we can’t complain when we have such differences in the same household and with your own co-workers.

There are hoards of reasons that can be attributed to this attitude.  We as a people are possibly feudal in nature. This can probably be a reason why we need to look up to someone and conversely, where one feels he or she needs to look down upon someone. The social discrimination, which existed majorly in older India, has transformed now into economic discrimination majorly in urban India. Not that the social discrimination has been eradicated.

Another possible reason is that we tend to believe we are always in a perpetual race. A competition. The economic situation and social structure probably make one believe so. The population problem does not help in relieving the situation either. The traffic condition in most cities is evident of this attitude. Instead of having foresight in traveling in lanes and obeying traffic rules so that everybody can get to where they want in time, people are always trying to break and move ahead and in the process, messing things up for everyone. This feeling of a perpetual competition brings in an attitude where in one tries to find ways and means to put down your own people to maintain control and dominance. This can lead to politics even within same circles.

Cultural heritage and ways are always difficult to let go. Our culture was segregated to type cast people where coming generations had to resign to their fate. Hence now with changing times where hard work and qualifications are looked upon as more important, at least in the modern urban India, it is a little difficult to keep those two systems running parallel and hence an overlap of the two and conflict is experienced.

Our education system is lauded and appreciated to create some of the most brilliant technical minds that have gone on to become entrepreneurs in India and the west. But the majority still seems to be suffering the lack of free will and thought that an education system can imbibe. For our education system ends up creating task oriented individuals and not innovators.

A while back there was a social awareness campaign, which depicted a father screaming out to his offspring demanding that the child marry within the community and forget love marriage. Most people assumed it to be a girl because the general belief is that girls have a lot of onus of maintaining family pride and honour. But as the camera pans out, it is clear that it is in fact his son and the tag line reads ‘ladko ko azadi mili nahi aur hum naari mukti ki baat kar rahein hain.’

These are but just a few of the observations I have come across. What seems clear though is we need to move on these attitudinal changes and move fast if we need to see a holistic progress of the nation and not just as an economic power house.